Conquer your fear of doing things alone

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

This past Saturday I made it a ME day … just me, myself and I – and I loved every second of it. My ‘Me Day’ is what inspired this post.

I could be wrong about this BUT I feel as though a lot of people have a fear of doing things alone. People like to be social, do things in groups and not feel like the awkward single loner out-and-about by themselves.

I was absolutely one of these people about four years ago. The thought of going out to dinner alone or seeing a movie alone gave me anxiety and I would have NEVER done that.

However, while living on Cape Cod from Fall of 2009 through Spring of 2010 with not many friends  – yes, a rough time needless to say – I had to get over that fear and just do it. One big thing I walked away with from my experience on the Cape was to be independent.

At the ECAC we often had to travel to different states for ECAC Championships. My first trip alone I believe was to Franklin and Marshal for a men’s football bowl game. Shacked up in a Lancaster hotel, it got to night time, I was starving  and I had to eat. Here we go – time to be that weird creepy lady eating at the TGI Fridays bar alone.

So there I sat, alone, feeling awkward and self-conscious that everyone was looking at me, just as I often looked at people eating by themselves. But that weekend was the start of a revolution.

I knew my time on the Cape was going to be very lonely if I didn’t start doing things myself – so I stopped sulking and went on with “Me Days” all the time.

Every Sunday during football season I use to drive about 25 minutes to a bar across the Cape in East Falmouth because they had jumbo/projector screens where they would play EVERY football game that day. It’s the only place I was able to see my Eagles and every game us Eagles fans would gather around the closest table and cheer together and watch.

I would go to trivia night every Wednesday at this “Applebees” type place. My team name was “Solo Dolo” every week.  I’ll mention – trivia is soooo hard alone. Let’s just say I never won and I stopped going after getting in a verbal altercation with some prick who thought I was cheating on my cell phone. To make my daddy proud I told him “Don’t you think if I cheated I would have won you asshole!?!?! Fuck off.” Then I threw $20 on the bar for my server and walked out. Man I was boiling – my mom probably remembers that phone call.

I went to my first movie alone on the Cape, I saw Michael Jackson’s “This Is It.” Since then I have seen X-Men and the latest Twilight movies alone.  I use to go on rollerblading excursions around the towns to sight see and took walks on all of the different beaches was my favorite.

I’m happy to say over the last four years my fear of doing things alone is gone. If you take anything away from this post, it’s two things: FIRST - It may feel like one of the most awkward things ever but it gets better over time. Take a hold of your life and go for it. You don’t always need someone there to hold your hand. SECOND – don’t judge people who are out and about eating/doing./seeing by themselves. You don’t know their story. They could be a poor intern with no friends like I was four years ago. 
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